My Dearest Jaxon,
Our days are limited together. Soon, your little brother will enter our world and it will no longer just be you and I. Soon you will feel like you have to share me. I have cried often thinking about having to share my love with another child. Even right now... I fear this.
Know that you were my first love. You always will be. Mommy's heart will have to grow to make room for your baby brother, but know that it grew first because of you. YOU made me a mommy. YOU showed me what a mother's love really is. YOU showed me what instant love and fear was.
Before you entered my world, I had NO clue how to care for a newborn or a child of any age for that matter. I often feared what kind of mother I would be. Daddy had to even show me how to change your diaper in the hospital. You challenged me to put my fears behind me and be the best mommy I could possibly be. You showed me of all that I was truly capable of. You made me feel so proud. I didn't think I could ever do this...but because of you I saw a side to myself I never even knew existed because I wanted to be the best mommy I could be for you. You have changed me forever Jaxon and I love you so much for it.
Your role is now about to change. You will no longer be the only child...but will now be the big brother. I know you will be the best big brother. I know you will look after him and teach him things that mommy and daddy can't. While I will have to share my love with you two, mommy couldn't think of a greater present to give you than a life long best friend. When daddy and I are long gone, you two will have each other. Love him and protect him always.
Know this my sweet boy I will ALWAYS LOVE YOU. You will ALWAYS be my first love. You will ALWAYS be the one who changed me forever. I will forever look at you and know that because of you, I am who I am. I love you Jaxon.
Love always,
Your Mom.
