Your Kids & Pets

Are you teaching your child/children to respect your dog? WHAT? What do you mean?! Shouldn't my dog respect my child?!

Actually the answer is no. I know. Shocker. Some may not agree with this mindset but... let me share my experience.

Jagger LOVES people. Absolutely loves them. So when we had Jaxon I had no real worries. When Jaxon became mobile I started to see a difference in Jagger. If Jaxon moved towards him sometimes, he would show teeth or growl. Now, as a parent your first instinct is to immediately blame and reprimand the dog because after all growling and showing teeth automatically means that your dog must be aggressive right? WRONG. So wrong. This is where teaching your children to respect your dog comes into play. Let me break it down.

Growling is a form of communication. It's actually GOOD if the dog vocalizes with a growl as opposed to reacting with a bite. Jagger is saying " Hey I am NOT comfortable with this. Please back away". So what are you suppose to do? As a dog owner, you need to protect your dog and get them OUT of a situation they are not comfortable with. I'm sure you are wondering " Well if he's uncomfortable can't he just move?" Sure he can...but maybe he doesn't want to because he decided to lay there first before my toddler decided to invade his space? I mean, do you want to get up from your seat when you just sat down? No. So you need to TELL you're dog to move to a different spot. You literally have to save your dog from it's discomfort. In turn, teach your toddler that if your dog is trying to rest...please let him be. After all when WE are trying to rest the last thing we want is our toddler rolling all over us.  

Another thing to consider is your dog does not know the intentions of your toddler. Is this tiny human going to hit me? Squeeze me? Step on my tail? Hug me? They literally have no idea...so again its our job as dog owners to take control of the situation and remove them. 

Now, I know this all sounds like a lot to take in. I'm sure you're wondering...well does this mean EVERY time my baby goes near my dog I have to tell them to move? No. Here's the thing. Dog owners who's children get bitten by their dog's think that it just happened out of the blue. I can assure you...IT DOES NOT. Dogs express themselves in so many ways that you may not even realize and I can guarantee your dog may have been displaying signs of discomfort for a long time before they had, had enough and actually chose to correct them with a bite. 

Things to look out for: Is your dog panting or breathing heavy for no apparent reason? Do you see your dog licking it's lips as your child passes by? Does your dog tuck it's ears back when your child comes near or if your child is petting them? These are all signs of an anxious dog...and all of these will be displayed usually before growling comes into play. A bite comes AFTER all of these things have been displayed. And again....a bite is a dog's way of CORRECTING. So the goal is to NEVER let it get to the point where your dog feels the need to CORRECT your child. This is why is it your job to teach your child to respect your dog (and also exercising them to expel that anxious energy) !!! 

If your dog is displaying any of these behaviors please seek professional help before rehoming! Of course our children come first and sometimes unfortunately rehoming might be necessary but sometime the answers are so very simple! And you know what? If you truly can't afford training, or truly believe your dog may thrive away from children...then there is no shame in finding an amazing new home for your dog. 

I know more than anyone how admitting your dog had growled at your child is probably the most embarrassing thing to tell someone. I know the fear of being judged for wanting to keep a dog who has growled at my child. I can promise you...YOU ARE NOT ALONE and please don't be ashamed or embarrassed. There are soooooooo many people going through the same exact thing. As parent's we have to learn how to deal with raising a small child...and so does your dog!! Don't be afraid to ask for help!! 

I hope sharing this will help some families who have been going through the same thing. Thank you for reading! Let me know your thoughts. 

Alexi xo 

Stuggles with 2 under 2

     Hunter Ray Maynard. Born via induction 12/19/18 at 11:09 AM weighing 7 pounds, 11 ounces and 21.5 inches long. Almost two pounds heavier than his bigger brother was! Just like that, he completed our little family. 

   2 under 2 is a SCARY ass thought. Nothing scared me more than thinking of how the HELL am I going to take care of two small children at the same time. Jaxon still VERY much needs me. For starters he's still in his crib. (No, I do not plan on taking him out anytime soon. He does just fine in his crib and I'm not trying to fix something that's not broken.) He still needs to be put in his highchair for meals, he still needs to be watched like a HAWK, he's still in diapers, AND he's not fully conversational yet (we are almost there though). So the thought of taking care of him AND a newborn who I have to nurse every 2 to 3 hours was and STILL is a terrifying. 

   For starters, let me just say mentally I am WAY more relaxed than I was when I first had Jaxon. I definitely struggled with my new role as a mother and post partum depression. I've never been one to hide that. I struggled a lot. This time, I am actually able to enjoy (? not sure if I really want to use the word enjoy because the newborn stage kind of sucks lol.)  the newborn stage....maybe appreciate it is a better way of describing it. I am not sure if it's because I kind of know what I'm doing this time, or if it's because I am busier this time with my first born, or maybe it's because I feel great after just having Hunter as opposed to how much pain I was after having Jaxon. Perhaps it's all of the above. I am just thankful to not having that dark cloud looming over me. 

  Because I am feeling better this time around, I find myself talking to Hunter. I never talked to Jaxon as a newborn. I also find myself really trying to get breastfeeding down, another thing I didn't care to do much the first time. And now.....(here comes the dark cloud)....because I am appreciating all these things and because I am interacting with Hunter so much it makes me sad to think how I couldn't do this for Jaxon. *Cue the tears* This is what I have been struggling with. The serious mom guilt. It doesn't help that I am only one person and when I'm nursing Hunter and Jaxon gets hurt and wants me to kiss his boo boo that I can't because my hands are full. When Gil is at work and I am alone with the boys, I can't help but cry because of how guilty I feel for not enjoying my time with my Jaxon and not being able to give him all my attention now. I think because of this, even though I am feeling better, I am having a hard time bonding with Hunter and letting my heart REALLY expand. Don't read that the wrong way. Of COURSE I love Hunter and I am obsessed with him. But it's similar to how I felt with Jaxon in the way that I did not feel that connection at first. It's happening again but in a very different way.

  Just like I had to learn to own motherhood... I now have to learn how to be a mother of two. I now have to learn how to balance my two boys, my husband, and myself. I have to learn to accept that I cannot change how I was with Jaxon as a newborn. The best the I can do is know that I did the BEST that I could with Jaxon, despite that dark cloud that loomed over my heard in those early weeks. And now I have to be and do the BEST I can for Hunter in these early days. This is my truth. 

  As the days go by, it gets a little easier day by day as we build some sort of routine. Watching Jaxon interact with his new little brother makes my heart EXPLODE. I CANNOT wait until Hunter is able to start interacting back. Those moments make everything SO worth it! I can't wait to see what the future holds <3. 

Thanks for reading!

love,

Alexi xo